How to Deal with Ultimate Cruelty?
11/02/2022 10:58 AM MST
fantasy, fiction
Imagine the fantasy scenario that you are entrapped by an evil spirit which is trying to destroy you, leech energy from you, etc. How is one meant to respond to this? Perhaps you try praying to God to remove the evil spirit but it only mocks this effort. “There is no God” it says. Your heart trembles, and your stomach shivers. You beg God to send these demons to Hell. But this is to no avail.
You question yourself. Why is this demon haunting me and apparently no one else? Why don’t they believe me when I say I’m being tormented? Perhaps they are demons as well… If that’s the case, one naturally feels that it’s necessary to prepare for a violent encounter. Demons clearly only use language as a means to control, not to empower or free the individual. But with God, their inflictions becomes wisdom.
Demons seem to like to incite violence and emotional turmoil. I believe this is because they are firmly in Satan’s grasp. I’ve given up on trying to sway them. I refuse to believe the vision of the world they have created for me. Through their evil ways they’ve caused me to view things with deep skepticism never fully trusting in the purity of the experience.
You beg for death, for the Rapture, for any Holy salvation, but it doesn’t come swiftly enough. Giving up on this, you wonder if God had planned this all along. Perhaps He sent you on this journey to root out evil and report this back to him. Maybe this is the natural way of things.
Nature is clearly tormented as well. It is a sad solace I find here; that I relate more to caged animals than to other human beings. My mind is strong but of questionable use. My heart is sad; knowing it is not truthful. I resort to relying on my stomach as a guide; perhaps its instincts are of more use in this Hell than in the Heaven I came from.
Was it all fantasy? I doubt so, after all I had lived those many years. Rectifying that prior experience with the last four years of torment requires patience and humility. The memories from the past generate a multitude of attachments. I’ve come to realize these aren’t bad to have. In fact, I think it’s essential to having some purpose to life.
Strangely I forgive and thank the demons, perhaps for the amusement they bring, but also because they seem to sharpen my intellect through the caution I’m learning. I doubt they are demons, but they are likely other humans. How they’ve captured my spirit is something I desire to learn. It must be destroyed somehow. I feel like Frodo in Lord of the Rings, carrying the ring of knowledge to Mount Doom.
I wonder if I’ll meet other “races” along the journey who will provide important respice and guidance. I wish I had the guidance of a powerful wizard like Gandalf who could swoop in to deal with whatever metaphorical orcs I may encounter on the way. Perhaps life is meant to be like this; a journey to take on evil. The end result not mattering, as it’s quickly forgotten. To live any other way is to be tempted by evil and likely trapped by it. I’d rather live with the fear of the pain of death than the fear of the afterlife.
Optimism requires this; cynicism is always rational and finite. My memories of the past are like the memories of the Shire. When this all began you were cast out of society; lured out by promise of adventure. Perhaps God is like Gandalf, weaving magic into our lives somehow and causing events to somehow make symbolic sense when viewed in hindsight. It’s hard to explain this instinct so I’ll leave it at that.
As the days wear on, you realize your philosophy for living transfers to the unconscious mind through the process of dreams. You see terrible evil or feel an evil presence constantly, although strangely nothing bad happens per-se. One dream has it that you’re lost in town eventually coming upon a strange community of small storage garages.
You see multiple keys littered outside one of the doors. Eventually you find the right key, and step inside. Strangely there is no roof any longer and evil spirits can be seen grimacing at you; sneering as if they know something you do not. You then wake up, fearing what this means. If your instincts are right then evil is afoot, perhaps hatching some new plan.
Nevertheless, you must continue on your dastardly mission. To be a hero sadly requires you to not trust anyone else. You see the truth in their paralysis; trapped by evil they’re forced to rot. You know the change must come from within, so you lob insults and temptations at them. Sadly this is to no avail; they seem to convert to evil more swiftly than good this way. You learn to love yourself as to love another is fruitless as a nomadic adventurer.
You wish things were different; that you were living in another time or world or dimension where love could be possible. Your knowledge is rooted in curiosity, and sadly like the ring in the Lord of the Rings you are tempted to use the power of evil to your advantage. Does this make you evil, or will it simply come at some cost? You know you must repent and change your ways once they are assuredly evil. You wonder if your vices should be forgotten. That’s what makes you Frodo and not another hobbit. Sadly this means sex must be forgone as well.
You come to believe in telepathy through the power of the ring. You realize you must rely on the strength of ghosts to aid you as well. You wonder if you’ve become a ghost through your spiritual connection. By becoming invisible you paradoxically can see the world as it truly is.